Sabrina, Tabitha are copyright Eric Schwartz. Zig-Zag is copyright Max Blackrabbit. I don't know who owns the other characters, but it's either Eric or Max. This is fanfic not intended to infringe on that copywrite.
Tina looking at computer worried, Zig-Zag walking past in background
Zig: What’s up?
Close on Tina.
Tina: These sales figures are pretty bad, boss.
We’re being murdered by that new studio in Thailand.
Close on Zig-Zag being thoughtful.
Tina (off-stage): We’ve got to find a way to bring
In more subscribers and DVD sales, something
Zig: Different, eh?
Close on Sabrina at monitor, looking startled/worried.
Zig (Off-stage): Exotic location shoot!!
Sabrina (thinking): Uh oh!
Zig-Zag rushes into Sabrina’s room and hugs her.
Zig: Ready to go on a vacation?
Sabrina: With you? No way!
Close on Sabrina pushing Zig-Zag away.
Sabrina: I remember what happened LAST time we went on a trip!
Zig-zag: Aww… this time it will be different, I promise!
Another shot of them both, Sabrina’s arms crossed.
Zig: Everyone else will be with us, for one thing
I won’t get as…um.. lonely as I got during our trip!
Same shot, Zig-Zag touching her face where Sabrina hit her (previous storyline).
Sabrina: Any other another reason?
Zig: My eye still smarts from our last trip!
Tina, Zig-zag, Darke Katt and Sabrina looking and travel brocures.
Sabrina: How about Alaska?
Zig-Zag: Hmm… Alaska… I can see some ‘trapped in a snow-bound cabin’
Close on Darke Katt holding up a brocure.
Darke: Sierra Leone!
Shot of Zig-zag, Sabrina and Darke Katt.
Sabrina: Are you nuts??! They’ve been having a civil war there for years!
Darke Katt: I got a relative who owns a travel agency and can get us a deal.
Zig-Zag: How much of a deal?
Dark talking, Sabrina tries walking off, Zig-Zag grabs her.
Darke Katt: Let’s put it this way… France… $10,000 for everyone, Alaska, $8,500 for everyone, Thailand, $25,000 for everyone. Sierra Leone, $100 per body.
Sabrina: I’m outta here—
Sabrina showing up with suitcase, Zig-Zag packing.
Sabrina: I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!
Zig-Zag: That location shoot bonus I threw in helped, I’m sure.
Sabrina looks embaressed.
Sabrina: Well… yeah… and I’ve always wanted to get out of the US
Zig-zag still packing while Sabrina talks.
Sabrina: Think I could get away to go on a safari? I grew up watching Wild Kingdom and always wanted to go on an African safari.
Zig: Wild Kingdom… I wonder if I could get the rights to use that as a title? Or maybe something like Wyld Kingdom?
Sheila Vixen walks in holding up a huge bottle of lube and sex toy.
Sheila: Boss? I can’t fit everything in my suitcase! And do you know if lube is still banned by TSA or did they lift that?
Sabrina: Remind me not to stand in line with you when we go through customs…
Sabrina arrives at the airline check in dragging Tabitha by the hand. Everyone is surprised.
Tabitha: Zig-zag!! I’m goin’ with you!!
Zig-zag: So what’s going on here, Kiddo?
Close on Sabrina and Tabitha.
Sabrina: My mom heard I was going on a trip and thought if I had to babysit I’d cancel my plans. You should have seen the look on her face when I said I’d just take Tabitha with me.
Zig-zag grinning at Sabrina, Sabrina still mad, Tabitha running off-stage.
Zig: Bet she was surprised you called her bluff!
Sabrina: Umm… not really. She began laughing hysterically.
Sabrina and Zig-Zag looking off-screen where Tabitha ran.
Airport announcer: Security to international terminal 2
Zig-zag: I have a sudden insight to your mom’s genius.
Them in the plane at gate, Tabitha bouncing up and down., Sabrina struggling with the buckle.
Tabitha: Sabina!! We goin’ up up UP!!
Sabrina(thinking): A 12 hour flight to Europe, 4 hour layover in Hamburg, 7 hour flight to Sierra Leone. Piece of cake.
Closer on Sabrina.
Sabrina (thinking): Hopefully I can sleep for a while, and at least I brought my laptop so I can PM R.C.
Watching other people taking their seats on the plane.
Sabrina (thinking): I just hope I don’t get stuck next to someone who weighs 500 pounds, but it was either that or have Zig-Zag molesting me for 12 hours.
Suspicious-looking Arab camel in full garb sits down next to her.
Sabrina (thinking): Suddenly being groped by Zig-Zag for 12 hours is looking a lot more appealing..
Sabrina standing in aisle of plane, talking with Darke Katt and Sheila Vixen.
Sabrina: Maybe I should I tell the stewardess or something? He’s making me real nervous.
Camel reading Koran very intently, Tabitha looking out the window w/clueless expression.
Sabrina (off-stage): He’s been reading and praying for the past 5 hours straight.
Dark Katt and Sheila looking angry and dissipointed, Sabrina embaressed.
Darke: Geeze, I never thought YOU of all people would be so prejudiced! Maybe you should just go put on a white robe or something.
Sheila: Yeah, like, you should really be more tolerant! It’s people like you that make the terrorists win!
Close on Sabrina.
Sabrina (thinking): Maybe they’re right… God, I’m so embaressed…
Arriving back at her seat, surprised that the Arab camel is gone.
Sabrina: Where did he go?
Tabitha: Miss Zig-Zag came by and said she was going to show him how to join the Mile-High club!!
Sabrina (thinking): Oh man!
Tabitha: I wanna join too!!
Sabrina and group on run-down airport tarmac in Sierra Leone.
Zig-Zag: Okay gang, we’re here!
Heading towards shabby building with “customs” sign on it, Sheila looking unhappy.
Sheila: Where you really able to find a Hilton in this place?
Huge dangerous-looking black panther looking through suitcases, Zig-zag chatting with Sheila.
Zig: Well, the hotel deal we got didn’t really specify—
Panther holds out huge dildo with various other devices sticking out from it.
Panther: Smuggling weapons!!
Sheila, Sabrina and Darke looking startled (all thinking): Uh oh!
Close on Zig-Zag making up to the Panther.
Zig: I’m sure there’s something I can do to convince you we’re not smuggling anything.
Panther: Well, I must talk to supervisor.
Zig: Let’s go then!
Long line of people waiting to get into the supervisor’s office, Sabrina and group waiting around.
Darke Katt: How long does it take to bribe someone?!
Sabrina: It looks like she’s bribing every official in the country all at once to get it out of the way.
Darkness outside, a very disheveled Zig-zag staggers out of the office.
Zig: Okay group, lets move out!
Sabrina: You okay?
Zig: Let’s just say I won’t need to eat or sit down for a while…
Outside shot of very seedy hotel in a slum, Sheila Vixen’s silhouette in a window.
Sheila: This is horrible! No bidet! Not even a toilet!!
Inside the room, Sabrina looking at mosquito netting dubiously, Tabitha running around with a chamber pot on her head.
Tabitha: Look at me!! I have a helmet!!
Sabrina: What’s this stuff for?
Close on Zig-Zag on the bed.
Zig: Well, the guy at the airport did mention something—
Sabrina suddenly covered with mosquitoes.
Zig-zag (off-stage): about malarial mosquitoes.
Sabrina zips under bed covers with Zig-zag.
Zig: See? You DO want to share a bed with me after all!
Everyone in a local outdoor market the next day.
Zig-zag: Okay people, we need to find a native guide!
Close on Sabrina and Zig-zag.
Sabrina: I thought you’d already worked this out before we came!
Zig: Yeah, well, he never showed up. This is much better, though, look at all this local color!
Sabrina grossed out by a table of dead monkeys and antelopes.
Sabrina: This is a little too colorful for me.
Tabitha running up with the head of a gorilla buzzing with flies.
Tabitha: Sabeeena!! Look what I just bought! I can pretend to be King Kong!
Sabrina (screaming): You take that back right now!!
Zig-Zag and Sabrina looking at line-up of shabby-looking native guides.
Sabrina: Do any of them speak English?
Zig: Oh, it doesn’t matter!
Zig-zag shoving the line of guides into a doorway.
Zig: I just need to do my ‘private interview’ with them to pick the best one.
Sabrina (slapping forehead): Why do I even bother asking?
Sabrina leaning on closed door w/disgusted expression.
Zig-zag sticks her head out of door.
Zig: Sheila!! I forgot my interview helper!
Sheila Vixen walks past Sabrina carrying a yardstick with marks on it that read “no way,” “maybe” and “you’re hired!!” Sabrina rolls her eyes.
Native guide (zebra) staggering under a massive load of suitcases and film equipment.
Sabrina: Where to now?
Zig: Now we scout locations.
Close on Sabrina.
Sabrina: I suppose it was too much to hope that had been done ahead of time.
Guide dumps stuff into beat-up Land Rover that looks like it’s from the 1960’s. Other group members look dubious.
Zig: Aww, where’s your sense of adventure?
All four tires of the Rover deflate under the weight. Tabitha comes running up with two severed gorilla hands.
Sabrina: I think I left that behind in the US.
Gang crammed in packed Rover on a jungle logging road.
Roadside bushmeat dealers shoving dead monkeys at them. Sabrina grossed out, Tabitha still has gorilla hands.
Sabrina: They must really hate monkeys here.
Close on Darke Katt.
Darke: It’s called “bush meat.” Everyone around here eats it.
Zig-Zag looking lasciviously at some natives, Sabrina angry with arms crossed.
Zig: I can see some ‘bush meat’ I’d be interested in tasting!
Sabrina: Keep your mind on business!
Zig: Who says I’m not?
Rover approaches a road block with armed locals.
Native guide: Uh oh… bad news here… Rebels want big toll to let you through.
Zig-Zag sashaying towards roadblock.
Zig: I think this calls for my ‘special’ powers of negotiating…
Long line of armed rebels and bushmeat dealers (still holding dead animals) leading into the brush. Sabrina and gang sitting on Range Rover looking bored.
After dark. Zig-Zag emerges from the brush looking even more disheveled than before, w/pain lines coming out of her backside.
Zig: I hope there aren’t any more of these roadblocks.
Native Guide: You kidding? Now there be a roadblock every mile!
Rover stopped at another roadblock, another line of militia members and various other locals leading into the brush.
Sabrina: This is the 5th one so far today!
Darke Katt: Yeah, we’re going nowhere fast, for sure.
Silent panel of them (Sabrina, Sheila, Darke and Tabitha) watching the line pass by.
Same shot, line moved a little.
Same shot, line moved a little more.
Darke: Maybe you could help Zig out a bit, Sheila, and cut some time off this.
Sheila (whirling around shocked.): No way!!
Range Rover still stopped at the roadblock. Tabitha jumps off the truck.
Tabitha (thinking): This is boring!
Wanders into threatening-looking jungle.
Close on Tabitha, looking at something off-stage.
Tabitha: Ohh, a kitty!!
Close on Sabrina startled, lion roaring off-stage.
Sabrina (thinking): Why do I suddenly have this bad feeling?
Sabrina sees lion in the jungle with Tabitha’s tail hanging out of it’s mouth.
Runs back to roadblock. Zig-Zag is back, looking even more beat-up than the previous day.
Sabrina grabs Zig by the arms and shakes her violently.
Sabrina: A lion just ate my little sister!!
Darke Katt comes into shot, Sabrina freezes.
Darke: Well look at it this way… you don’t have to worry about your mom hitting you with babysitting duty at awkward times again.
Sabrina (screaming): Augghh!!
Range Rover driving down logging road.
Sabrina: I can’t believe a lion ate Tabitha! What am I going to tell mom and dad?
Another roadblock w/more armed rebels comes into view.
Darke Katt: Here we go again.
Zig-Zag: Oh no!
Close on Zig-Zag.
Zig: If I do another one of those roadblocks, and I’m going to end up more stretched out than a 10 year-old pair of pantyhose.
Zig-Zag dragging Sabrina into the jungle, others following.
Sabrina: What are you doing?! That lion is still out there!
Zig: At this point I’ll deal with the lion! I have to look out for my figure.
The group in the middle of a jungle clearing, Sabrina sitting on a rock looking disgusted.
Sabrina: I hope you’re happy! Now we’re totally lost.
Close on Sabrina and Zig-Zag.
Zig: Cheer up! Things could be a lot worse!
It suddenly starts pouring rain.
Armed rebels appear out of the jungle.
Sabrina: You were saying?
Group being herded through the jungle at gun point. It’s stopped raining.
Dark Katt: Oh this is just great!!
Closer on Sheila and Zig-Zag.
Sheila: This group doesn’t seem interested in getting any kind of bribe.
Zig-Zag: Don’t worry! I’ve seen enough movies to know what happens next. You think we’re in trouble, but the natives are actually going to worship one of us as a God!
Close on one of the rebels approaching them with a coil of rope.
Everyone tied up against trees while Rebels set up camp.
Sabrina: What movie was that? Deliverance?
Close up of shouting rebel (black panther).
Camp in pandemonium, rebels running everywhere, Sabrina and group confused.
Rebels (screaming): Siafu!! Siafu!!
Close on Sabrina (still tied to tree).
Sabrina: What’s going on? What’s—
Very close of Sabrina looking cross-eyed at army ant on her nose.